A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House: Humor, Blunders, and Other Oddities from the Presidential Campaign Trail by Charles Osgood

There is very litle commentary in this little book. The title says it all. Beginning with the campaign of 1948, Osgood has collected quuotes from both sides and independent observers during the Presidential election years. (Up to 2004; none from the current campaign, but this book almost had to have gone to press before the selection of this year's candidates)

Some of them are kind of flat, but some are downright hilarious. All of them are entertaining, no matter which side of the aisle you are usually seated. And it can be read in a couple of hours, always a good thing in today's attention span deficit society.

I give this one 8 stars.

Comedy at the Edge by Richard Zoglin

Fittingly, I finished reading this book the day before George Carlin died. I had a lot of respect for Carlin as an innovater in the world of comedy, and it was a pleasure to read about his beginnings on the comedy circuit in the '70's here.

Although I do not agree that the subtitle "How Stand-Up in the 1970's Changed America" is a suitable one. Simply because I don't think the way the author lays out the text that he sufficiently makes a case for America to have changed as a result of the genre of stand-up played out its role. With one exception, the acceptance of harsher language that got predecessors such as Lenny Bruce in trouble became more accepted with the rise of George Carlin and Richard Pryor.

I do like the fact that the author centers on one particular person in each chapter (Carlin in chapter 1, Pryor in chapter 2) rather than just ramble over a particular subject and play it out through several comedians. Not every chapter is devoted to a comedian, however. One or two are devoted to behind-the-scenes people, including the comedy theater owners of the day.

If you are an afficianado of comedy from the time, you will enjoy some of the reminiscing that will be elicited from this work.

I rate this one 7½ stars.

So You Think You Can Be President? by Iris Burnett and Clay Greager

Somewhere Will Rogers must be rolling on the floor laughing. Somehow I think the authors must have tapped into his spirit because this is without a doubt the funniest political satire in recent years.

What you get here, in the guise of a test to see if you have the makings of a politician, is some of the funniest jabs at both sides of the political aisle, that are not only dead-on, but sometimes even insighful. Especially to a person who refuses to be coerced into joining the throng on either side.

Give this one 7 stars.

Father Knows Less by Wendell Jamieson

This book is a combination of two different texts. On the one hand are the seemingly innocent questions that kids ask, and on the other hand is an insight into the life of the author, both as a child himself, and as a father to a young son. The questions are ones that his son, as well as he as a child, asked. Included are questions that other kids have asked that he culled from his own journalistic files.

The insights into his life, apropos of seemingly nothing sometimes, gets a little tiresome. I'm sure there is a correlation in the author's mind, but sometimes I failed to see it. And this being someone whom I had never even heard of prior to picking up the book, it hardly intrigued me.

Ignoring that, the questions are fun and insightful. The author goes to great lenghths sometimes to find the correct answers to these kids' questions. As a self-styled trivia maven, I found this to be an extremely helpful as well as entertaining book.

Rate the biographical portion 5 stars, but give the question and answer section 8 stars.

An Incovenient Book by Glenn Beck

Sean Hannity is an obnoxious blowhard. Rush Limbaugh, as Al Franken so aptly put it, is A Big, Fat, Stupid Idiot. Glenn Beck, on the other hand, is a very funny guy. Although, I don't agree with everything he has ever said, anymore than I agree with Hannity or Limbaugh, or even Al Franken, for that matter, I can appreciate Beck as a comedian.

Of course, this book isn't about comedy, it's about political statements, all of which exposes his own predominately right-wing stance on issues. The book starts out with a disparaging dig at those who believe in "global warming", and ends with some very insightful comments on illegal immigration. In between is much of what is the usual diatribe against the left from the typical right-winger, but it is much easier to read coming from Beck, interspersed as it is with some self-deprecating commentary, and a dead-on viewpoint of how political correctness is a bunch of hogwash.

Some of it is somewhat naive, but hardly misunderstandable, given his avowed faith in the inherent honesty and forthrightness of human nature. I think the view he takes on minimum wage is particularly naive, given that those same kinds of entrepreneurs who are hurt by the existence of a mandatory minimum wage are the ones who also hire illegal immigrants at wages that are even substandard to that minimum wage.

Of course, in the end, it's all about money. You can pay $26 for this book or pay $35 for Al Franken's most recent book. Both are entertainingly funny, but both are also filled with as much indoctrination as possible to convince you not only are they right, but other side is just full of so much crap. Personally, I can't side with either one of them on all the issues, but that doesn't prevent me from objectively reading their books.

I give this one 7 stars.

These Aren't My Pants by Daniel Butler and Alan Ray

Everybody does it. Paul Harvey often points out idiot criminals in his daily commentary. Any book compiled book of lists usually has a collection of some dumb crooks. When I was younger, there was a columnist in one of my father's NRA magazines who ended his column each month with a list of the stupidest of the month.

There seems to be an entire series of this particular book, but so far this is the only one I've found. And it is well worth the $2 I paid for it at the used book store. Daniel Butler, et. al., don't even need to clarify to make these stories laugh out loud hilarious. Some people are deserving of the Darwin Awards, if you've ever read any of those. I think there ought to be a special award for the dumbest crooks of the year, too.

Just by committing some of the acts contained herein should get them a special room at the jailhouse. One where the hardened criminals get to come by and point and laugh. Cruel? Probably. Unusual? Definitely. But it would be therapeutic, that's for sure.

Give this one 7 stars.

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

Over the years, I have read quite a few autobiographies by comedians. Unlike some dry, historical biography written by someone else who may or may not have even met the subject of the biography in person, the autobiography usually has the advantage of letting the style and wit of the comedian shine through. Take, for instance, an earlier review of mine of one by Don Rickles.

Not the case here. Steve Martin is without a doubt one of the most offbeat and funniest writers I have ever read. But here, in his autobiography, if you take out every quote from his stage act, is one of those dry historical biographies I previously mentioned. Sure, you get some insight into Martin's childhood, and how the need to perform became a drive in his life. But in 200+ pages, not one discernably funny comment that hasn't become familiar to anyone who has his albums or has seen his stage performance.

And that's another thing. Aside from finding the style so-so, he ends the book way too soon in his career. Virtually nothing of behind-the-scenes after his last stand-up tour. Of course, the title might have been a dead giveaway, but I would have been interested in the early part of his film career, even some background over the ensuing years, but aside from a mention of future projects that were inspired by the events Martin is describing at the time, there is nothing.

Overall I give this one a moderately disappointed 5½ stars.

Rickles' Book by Don Rickles

If you have ever seen Don Rickles, either at a show or on one of his numerous appearances on late-night talk shows, you know that Don is a very funny guy. His style comes through in great abundance here as he takes a walk down memory lane, starting with some of his early childhood memories, right on through his trials and tribulations as he tried to achieve some spot in the stardom that is the world of stand-up comedy.

Rickles book starts out with the hilarious tale I've heard him tell many times, of trying to impress a date by having Frank Sinatra show up at the table and say "Hi" to him. Its classic Rickles and so is the rest of the book.

Rate this one 7½ stars.

Unusually Stupid Politicians by Kathryn and Ross Petras

If you really want to know who you are paying to represent you you in DC or your local capitaol building, you should read what they have to say in public. Anybody can manufacture a press release to put themselves in a good light, but the real cream of the crop comes in public speaking.

And not everything that comes out of a politician's mouth is pure gold. Sometimes, what they have to really say can be downright disturbing on one level or unintentionally hilarious on another level.

Brother and sister Petras have collected some gems here, the oldest of which only dates back to the late '80's or early '90's, so they are stilll fresh. And given light of the current political landscape, can be very enlightening. Although Republican comments predominate the book, there are plenty of Democrat faux pas to give the other side a laugh or two, also.

Typically, a book like this will have some slanting in it, it can hardly be avoided. Given that they consistently refer to Sen. Joe Lieberman as "Democrat" ("D") , an obvious snide jab as to whether the Senator is really a Dem, they seem to have shown their hand pretty well. (Just asking, but would Congressman Ron Paul have been referred to as a "Republican" ("R")?) But other than that one thing, I had no objections to the book. I thought it was pretty good.

I'll rate this one 7 stars.

You Can Lead a Politician to Water, But You Can't Make Him Think by Kinky Friedman

The Kinkster has been one of my favorite authors since I first discovered his mysteries back in the halcyon days of my college years. He has been a regular guest on the "Sam and Bob Morning show" on local KVET radio for as long as I can remember. I thought many times over the years that we had a kindred spirit. When in 2005, he announced his intention to run for governor of Texas, my first thought was he'd be better than the goons and goombahs running things now.

As time went on I realized that my kindred spirit was much more than just a passing fancy. Much of what Kinky said on the campaign trail made beaucoup sense. Unfortunately for those of us who fell in behind the Kinkster's drive to the governor's mansion, he fell short of the needed majority to move in to said residence.

With this new book, Kinky recounts his journey, as well as espousing and clarifying his stance on the major issues of his campaign. But this is not dull, dry political prose, a la the editorial page of most newspapers, nor is it (entirely) ranting against political foes, a la Sean Hannity. Although he does take some occasional digs at current governor Rick Perry and at the Democrats, it is done tongue-in-check with the great style and wit that Kinky has developed as a writer.

Covering every issue he encountered during that long foray into political stumping, and establishing exactly what his stance is and why, this book is an excellent primer for those who are unsure what is wrong with politics, in Texas or elsewhere, although the focal point, necessarily, is Texas. And if you can read the chapter "Thou Shalt Not Kill" without shedding a few tears, well then, Gov. Rick Perry needs some new campaign supporters for the next election.

I rate this one 9½ stars.

The Tao of Willie by Willie Nelson (with Turk Pipkin)

The premise of this book is how to live life according to Willie's interpretation of the Tao te Ching. The Red-Headed Stranger gives some great insight into life and happiness, and how to live for the now. My favorite line says it all "Are you happy now?"

The book is chock full of anecdotes from Willie's life, as well as a smattering of his favorite jokes, all applied to the idea of the Tao In essence, he says, there's no sense in getting all keyed up over things in life.

It is part biography, and you will get a few tales of the different stages in his life, though I think that the idea that he was intentionally applying the Tao to his life at an early age is a little far-fetched. It's easy to see that in his current life, however.

When you get through this book, if you don't feel calmer and more happier, then you obviously read it too fast, and missed the basic principles. Even if you don't use this as a Cowboy Taoist bible, you should be able to come away with a clearer respect for the ideas incorporated within.

Rate this one 7½ stars.

You Can Get Arrested for That: 2 Guys, 25 Dumb Laws, 1 Absurd American Crime Spree by Rich Smith

The premise here is the absurd dumb laws that are actually on the books in some cities and states in the United States. You can access a listing here, which may not be the exact list the author used, but almost all of the laws he broke, or attempted to are listed.

The author and a friend head to California for a cross-country trip, all the while attempting to break some of the more ridiculous laws on the books in several states. At first he has only a smattering of successes, most of the time with rather boring results. It seems to me tide turns about midway through the book, when the unfortunate coincidence of their Cornish flag they are displaying (they are from Cornwall in the U.K.) has a resemblance to the flag that a local violent gang displays. They are briefly met with hostility by local police until the error is cleared up. It is at this point that the book started getting more interesting.

All in all, its not an entirely satisfying book as far as road trip books go that I've read. But if you are unfamiliar with the strange laws, or just like the idea of breaking laws just for a laugh, you probably can't go wrong with this one.

Rate it 6 stars.

The Grilled Cheese Madonna (and 99 Other of the Weirdest, Wackiest, Most Famous eBay Auctions Ever) by Christopher Cihlar

Some of the strangest things have turned up for sale on eBay. Sometimes the sale of these things garners a lot of media attention. This is the subject that the author covers in this book. From the attempted sale by a woman of her virginity, the guy who claimed "a piece of the shuttle Columbia broke my rake" and was trying to sell the broken rake, and the one young man who tried to sell his soul, all the most outrageous sales over the history of eBay are here.

They are divided into several sections, each covering a specific type of auctioned item. In many of the cases, eBay pulled the item from its website because it violated their policies. i.e. You can't sell body parts. as people become more ingenuitive, eBay's policies on what can be sold become more restrictive. The secondary aspect of the book is the author's half-hearted attempt to educate his readers on how to get a sensational type of item on the site (and probably in the process become fodder for the sequel).

Even if you know about every one of the notorious sales herein, you will still find the book enjoyable, even if only as a reminescence. And it is easily read in an hour or so.

Rate this one 7½ stars.

Git-R-Done by Larry the Cable Guy

The first thing I thought when I saw this book on the shelf was "Larry wrote a book???"

Actually, the first thing I thought was "Larry can WRITE???" Then I thought about swatting the fly that was crawling on the copy of the book, but then I thought he probably knew what he was doing. Don't ask me how I knew the fly was a he... Thats when I really thought "Larry wrote a book???" (Lord, I apologize for that there...) So I got the book and I'm glad I did. I'm happier than a pig in Iraq during Ramadan!

If you don't know who Larry the Cable Guy is, my question is "Have you been in a mental ward or something?" Go rent the videos of "Blue Collar Comedy Tour and Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again". And maybe the stand-up solo Larry video "Git-R-Done"

The book is vintage Larry. It covers some of his life history as well as some great comic bits that have no cohesion to the whole other than they are bound in the same book. Reading Larry's comedy is almost as much fun as watching him perform it. Think of Larry as the redneck version of Robin Williams' early stand-up. And if you've never seen Robin Williams do impromptu comedy, get the hell out of here.

To give you even a piece of larry's stuff here would be a crime. It has to be read as it is written. The rambling style does not fit well in quotes, no matter what the other critics do with them. I wanted to, believe me, but if I started, I would end up quoting a whole chapter verbatim. OK, OK, one quote. The entire chapter 6:

"TK"

If that isn't funny, you've got the wrong book. Put it down and go read "How To Cross-Pollenate Orchids in a Sub-Zero Climate" instead.

I give this one 8 ½ stars.

How to Make a Million Dollars with Your Voice by Gary Owens

OK, I give up. I tried to read this book. I thought it would be a memoir of Gary Owens, a former member of the "Laugh-In" show from the '60's, and an accomplished voice of radio and T.V. And to be honest, it sometimes is. But the heart of the matter is it is exactly what the tiltle impiles it is. That is, a how-to book for aspiring voices desiring to break into show business.

In this vein, I could probably give it a thumbs up, (in the vein of Ebert and Roeper). It has some promise, to be sure. The opening lines are the essence of pure comedy.

"The entire text was scrawled on butcher paper with a chicken claw, then transferred by hooded scribes using an Underwood manual typewriter, and then blotted."

I mean, it is the essence of offbeat comedy. But once I started reading, although the comedy is still there, it still remains a how to book. Given that Gary Owens is still a legend in my own mind, I won't give this a completely negative reveiw, but I would definitel;y have enjoyed the memoirs much more than this.

I rate this one 5½ stars. Next book is "Little Chapel on the River" by Gwendolyn Brooks

700 Sundays by Billy Crystal

700 Sundays is a memoir of sorts of Billy Crystal's childhood, growing up in Long Beach on Long Island. Like most comedians' books, it is peppered with what may be apocryphal incidents. Ostensibly it is supposed to be about the life that he knew with his father, who died when Billy was 15. The title of the book refers to the number of Sundays that he had to spend with his father before his father passed away.

Dad was a workaholic who held down several jobs, and Sundays were the only days he had time to spend with his family. There is more to this book than that, however, and maybe because of that short a time span, Crystal had to expand the book to cover more than just memories of his father.

At any rate, suffice to say that the book is a good memoir, as far as memoirs go, but if you are not a fan of the style of stand-up comedy that is Billy Crystal's staple, you probably won't like the book. On the other hand, if you hink Billy is hilarious, you will get a kick outof it. It doesn't read too schmaltzy, and is a fairly quick read.

Rate this one 7½ stars. Next book is "Go to Hell" by Chuck Crisafulli.

Winthrop

"Read free while you still can."

Texas Hold-em by Kinky Friedman

What? You've never read Kinky Friedman? You've been deprived, buddy. The future governor of Texas has been writing for well over 20 years. Even more if you go back to his days as a fringe country western artist with Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. His most famous character is a detective in New York, who, oddly enough is named Kinky Friedman, and surprise, surprise, is a former country western singer with a band called Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. O.K., by now you've guessed that the detective is the Kinkster himself. I reccomend you read just one of the series, you'll be hooked. Start with Greenwich Killing Time the first in the series.

Kinky is also a very good essayist. The collection here is proof. Some of the pieces come from his column in Texas Monthly, a rather yuppiefied magazine, but worth picking up just for the Kinkster's musings. You will see such articles as what to do (as well as what NOT to do) to your pick-em-up truck in Texas. (You just gotta have a grill guard, but don't get no damn furriner truck, only genuine Ford or Chevys.)

And if you ever have come into contact with a snippet of Kinky, you've bound to run across a word or phrase that sent you scurrying to a slang dictionary only to come up empty. "The Guide to Kinkybonics" will let you know just what is meant by being "Bugled to Jesus" and clear up once and for all, what the hell the "Medina wave" is.

And speaking of dictionaries, for any of you who might be slated for a prison term in Texas, the Kinkster gives you a thorough list of all the terms you will run across during your stay, just so you won't be lost.

Scattered amongst his musings are several fun lists, such as the "Texas Cheerleader Hall of Fame" , famous people who were cheerleaders at one time in their life.(some of which may surprise you) "Texas Inventions and Inventors", "Texas Firsts" and "If the Ten Commandments Were Written by a Texan..." ('Specially #7. It's the one that will get you in the most trouble if you break it.)

Rate this one 9½ stars.

Next book is "The Walrus was Paul" by R. Gary Patterson

Winthrop

I Hate the Dallas Cowboys: And Who Elected Them America's Team Anyway? edited by Bert Sugar

My first reveiw. As I stated in my disclaimer (see sidebar) there are people on Amazon, Barnes and Noble (and other book review sites) who will disparage a book just because they disagree with the book's content, not even having read the book in the first place. The morons who disparage this book can't even see the title says Bert Sugar is the book's editor. It is not "wriiten by" Bert Sugar. This is a dead giveaway that some people just found the book while browsing, and being the Dallas fans they are, wrote scathing denouncements of the book without ever having come in contact with the book. Of course, this is not a surprise to me, having lived in Texas all my life, I know how Cowboy fans are.

But this is supposed to be a review of the book, which is what I will do. Sugar has collected some two dozen essays from sportswriters, athletes and others on the subject. I will write about only a few of them so as not to spoil the entire book for you.

My favorite piece of this book is plain and simple. A writer, and even better artist, Bill Gallo draws the truie "America's Team" as an editorial cartoon. Hint:: none of them ever played for Dallas. These real America's team members are heroes from the heyday of cowboy movies (as opposed to Cowboy movies, like "North Dallas Forty") They include such notables as Gene Autry & Tex Ritter (true Texans and cowboys) and John Wayne (not a true Texan, but definitely a true cowboy).

The next one is by a guy named Thom Loverro who writes a fiction piece about a future where the destruction and decay of society is directly related to the sins of "America's Team". A father is telling his son of those days when the Cowboys were everywhere and doing everything evil for which they are known (drugs, hoodlumism, etc.).

Bill Conlin and Skip Bayless, veteran sports writers for Philadelphia and Dallas newspapers are featured here. If you are familiar with Skip Bayless' books about the Cowboys, you know he doesn't pull any punches, despite having worked in the city of Dallas. He doesn't here either. Most of the sports writers, by the fact of their profession do a better job of writing than do the athletes. But one of notable successes is Steve Bartkowski's piece. Although to be fair, it appears Steve's main grudge is that Dallas didn't use their draft pick on him. Suggesting that somewhere deep inside he would have liked to play for them.

At only 192 pages, it is far too short, but it is easily readable in an hour or two.
Rate this one 8 stars.

Next book is "Texas Hold-em" by Kinky Friedman

Winthrop